Freddie was born into a drinking family. Alcohol ran through their veins and for the longest time, it was all he knew. It was how you celebrated, how you grieved, and how you lived. Until it stopped working that...
Freddie was born into a drinking family. Alcohol ran through their veins and for the longest time, it was all he knew. It was how you celebrated, how you grieved, and how you lived. Until it stopped working that is. Learn how he went from failure to fabulous and the role This Naked Mind and The Alcohol Experiment played on his journey.
Once a Scoundrel
I come from a family of proud scoundrels, swindlers, chancers, and thieves. Growing up in the UK, my descendants came from the outskirts of Birmingham where my grandfather would sell horses to a group of men who today are more commonly known as the ‘Peaky Blinders’.
It’s Not All Fun and Games
Drinking was not just encouraged in my family, it was celebrated. My parents would glamorize alcohol, and host wild parties, despite us having little money. It was all fun and games during the night, but then in the morning my mum and dad would hide in their bedroom and send me to answer the door when debt collectors came knocking.
I believed this was ‘just the way family life was’. Opening wine or Martini at 5 pm, followed by laughter, followed later by shouting, followed later by screaming, and then – as I tried to sleep – by the sound of sobbing.
I was never sure where my mother’s crying ended, and my own tears began.
But – as my dad proudly promised – at least life was never ‘boring’. At least we were an ‘exciting’ family.
However, as my shoulders slumped to the sucking ‘pop’ sound of a cork being pulled from another bottle of cheap red wine, all I desperately wanted was to have a ‘normal’ family and be like everyone else.
Talented In My Own Ways
They say everyone has a talent in life.
As I became a teenager and young adult, I quickly discovered I had a natural talent for drinking.
Alcohol turned me from a shy, introverted, only child to the outgoing, witty, life and soul of the party. By luck or by judgment, I gained a reputation as a party boy. I would be the first in the bar, the first to move to spirits, the first to buy the shots, the first to get to the nightclub…
…the first to vomit, the first to pass out in the toilets, the first to get thrown out, and the first to stagger home cold, confused, and penniless.
The next day, when the latest round of stories, rumors, and tales from the night before started to circulate – I had no option but to laugh them off.
Boyish Bravado
I had to cover my shame with boyish bravado:
Yes, of course, I remembered what I did. No, of course, I wasn’t embarrassed. It had been great fun. Same again tonight?
Deep down, I knew something wasn’t right. I felt edgy, and alone. The sharp claws of guilt and hopelessness tugged at the edges of my consciousness. I tried my best to ignore it. “Young, healthy guys like me don’t get anxious”, I told myself. “I’m just having a good time”.
Have a couple of drinks, you’ll feel better about things then.
Doubt Creeps In
Perhaps it was the time I missed the flight to see my client as part of my well-paid corporate job, because I was still passed out in my hotel bedroom with no memory of how I got there…
…in a country where drinking alcohol was illegal.
Or maybe it was the time I drunkenly locked myself out of my hotel room at 3 am while my whole company was staying at the same location for a conference….
…and I was naked.
Or it might have been the time I drug dealer held a loaded gun to my head…
…and pulled the trigger.
You might say these were warning signs, but I didn’t want to see them.
Casting Blame
I saw myself as one of the world’s victims:
It was because of the stress.
It was because of the job.
My arrogant boss was to blame.
It was because of my demanding clients.
It was because of my ‘boring’ friends.
The economy.
It was because of my broken and chaotic upbringing.
It was because of my wife, who didn’t understand the sacrifices I was making for the family.
But don’t you dare suggest that it had ANYTHING to do with my drinking.
Oh hell no. I did NOT have a drinking problem.
Except, I DID have a problem.
And everybody could see it…
But me.
Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies
I made every promise under the sun:
No drinking on weekdays.
No spirits.
Absolutely no shots.
No drinking alone.
No drugs.
I even tried ‘JUST drugs, no alcohol’. You can probably guess how spectacularly wrong that plan went.
Next, I tried to be more holistic.
“I can’t have a drink problem, because I go running”
“I can’t have a drink problem, because I go to the gym”
or “I can’t have a drink problem, because I do cold showers”
“I can’t have a drink problem, because I journal every morning”
What I discovered is that my drinking habits allowed me to publicly keep myself just about on the right line of ‘respectable professional’ for me to let myself off for my terrible behavior.
I would always tell myself, “You can’t be THAT bad. You’re not sleeping on a park bench”
Every time I tried to control my drinking, I would fail. And I used every failure as proof that I WAS a failure.
From Failure to Fabulous
And how can someone go from feeling like ‘Failure’ to ‘Fabulous’ in 20 minutes flat?
“Pass me the bottle opener.”
I read about Annie in the Wall Street Journal, on a flight from the US to the UK, when I was chewing down a gin & tonic to overcome the waves of hungover nausea that kept flowing over me.
I remember reading about her life and story and thinking, “Hey, that sounds a bit like me”.
As I continued to read the news piece, my bloodshot eyes widened and my mouth fell open.
“Actually, that sounds a LOT like me”.
It dawned upon me that I could change my life, and transform my relationship with alcohol forever.
My body buzzed with excitement and anticipation. That strange, alien feeling of….HOPE!
I knew what I was going to do… it was time for a little alcohol experiment of my own! Time to kick the booze for good!
…right after I finished my drink.
Then I thought I’d order another. The final one.
Actually, it would be better to start this whole endeavor when we landed…
Or on Monday…
On second thoughts, my good friend was getting married in a couple of weeks, so obviously I’d had to be drinking for that…
Then it was my birthday next month…
Then I had a vacation booked….
I settled back into my plane seat and let myself slip into alcohol’s warm embrace once more.
“You know what? That Annie Grace sure does have an interesting story. But that ain’t me. I don’t have a problem.”
Make mine a double.
Wisdom From An Unexpected Source
I’d tried and failed to change my drinking habits 1,000 times.
By this stage, I was on a path to breakdown, bankruptcy, and suicide.
In the end, it was my father who convinced me to see sense and change the course of my life…
It was just a pity he had to die in order to show me the error of my ways.
Still, I’d tried everything to quit drinking and nothing had worked. I’d given up. Told myself “This is as good as it gets”.
I’d resigned myself to a life of quiet desperation.
But then Annie came back into my life.
Ready To Go From Failure to Fabulous (for real)
I’d purchased The Alcohol Experiment from my bed while suffering yet another heart-stoppingly shocking case of the hangover blues. By this time I was desperate for anything that might help.
What I loved about Annie’s words and approach was that she carried no judgment. She didn’t make me feel like I was ‘bad’ or that I’d ‘broken the rules’.
For the first time, I could see my drinking for what it really was: Without shame. Without guilt. Without fear.
When it came to the book and my very own Alcohol Experiment, it was Annie who made me feel like I mattered. Like I belonged. Like I had the power to actually make positive things happen in my life.
Ready To Go From Failure to Fabulous?
Is it time for you to rewrite your story and go from failure to fabulous in your own life? Join in The Alcohol Experiment and find out for yourself how to easily do just that! It’s forever free and shame, pain, and blame-free as well!
Finally Fabulous
I had my last drink when I was 37 years old.
At that point, I was stressed, depressed, unfit, overweight, and suicidal. I was a terrible husband, and a lousy father, and my whole life was a lie. It was only a matter of time before something truly, permanently, terrible happened.
Today, I am 41 years old, and my life couldn’t be more different:
Guinness World Record holder.
Ultramarathon winner.
Ironman.
Ran 300 miles across the scorching Sahara Desert and completed the toughest footrace in the world.
Ran 100 miles non-stop through the wilderness.
Launched my own business
Published a book, ‘Starting at Zero’,
Launched a podcast, ‘Over the Influence.’
Followed a dream and moved from the UK to beautiful New Zealand.
Happy, confident father to two boys.
Featured in The BBC and Men’s Health magazine.
In February, I’m running the world’s coldest ultramarathon: 300 miles across the frozen Arctic toward the North Pole.
The thing is, I’m NOT one of these ‘running types’, or a guy who walks around shouting like an ex-Navy SEAL.
I’m just an everyday guy who is on a mission to prove to the world that ANYONE can change their drinking habits and achieve the life of their dreams.
Share Your Story
Did you go from failure to fabulous with the help of This Naked Mind? Whether it was through the books, the app, podcasts, or another TNM program, we want to hear your story. Share your experiences and inspire others on their journey to a better, alcohol-free life.
