After losing my best friend my dog that I loved with all of my heart. My heart was broken for a long time. That dog was with me through everything. My husband and I were like roommates living in...
After losing my best friend my dog that I loved with all of my heart. My heart was broken for a long time. That dog was with me through everything. My husband and I were like roommates living in the same home but with completely different lives. I found that really hard it seemed like we drifted further and further apart. We fought often and occasionally we would do things together. I never felt so lonely in my marriage.
As usual I was told that my husband had no changed so obviously it was me. I often felt that I was the one that was in the wrong constantly. I lived my own life separate from his and we no longer shared a bedroom. I moved down the hall. For 10 years we lived like that. To me that’s not love. I found myself shutting down with the Spiritual abuse. To be told your not doing what God wants for you is really hard to live with. It’s brutal on your self esteem and according to my husband he still loved me.
I grew super distant from him. He always wanted to go and live back in the US. That was his dream to own a farm and live off the grid. I did that once when we lived in Washington. He loved it but I found it so isolating. He wanted me to come and be with him but I wanted to be here with my family and friends. One day four years ago he packed up all his things and he left. I was glad because things were awful at home. I was done and no longer wanted him to live in my home.
Being married for 19 years to them being single and alone was hard for me. I always imagined I would be married forever. It’s taken me a long time to get to be where I was really happy with my life. I love my life I have an awesome job, great friends, lots of support and my family is here. I have a Labradoodle named Zeke who is an awesome dog. He loves me unconditionally. I have a mini plush lop rabbit which he is so sweet.
I’m blessed by so many things in my life now. I’m a different woman who is confident and knows that no matter what God is looking out after me. I am who I am today from amazing mentors in my life. Even though my life was really hard and tough God had given me huge insight on children who have trauma in their lives. I’ve seen some of the toughest children learn how to trust and just loving them so much is so powerful for them. Love changes so many things. I saw it in my life and now I see it in the children I work with.
I am an advocate for both children and adults and a voice for those that can’t speak up for themselves. I’ve had to do hard things in my life but I would never change that.
Thank you for reading my memoirs in my blog. I hope that it gives people hope and encouragement. Remember that no matter where you have come from you can do anything.
