So you are in a committed, loving relationship and everything is going pretty well, except – your boy or girlfriend is smoking weed and you really want them to stop. If only it was as easy as simply asking...
So you are in a committed, loving relationship and everything is going pretty well, except – your boy or girlfriend is smoking weed and you really want them to stop. If only it was as easy as simply asking them to quit their habit. If this is a situation you are facing keep reading for some tips and strategies which may help you actually succeed, and get your romantic partner to quit marijuana completely.
The honest approach for your partner
Either while alone together or through a professional mediator/third party you can lay all your cards on the table. Explain your fears, the way their behavior and personality changes for the worse when weed is involved, your concerns about finances, their lack of personal hygiene, or share worries about the future and the opportunities being missed. This needs to be wrapped up with an offer of professional help and support, as if your girlfriend or boyfriend is addicted to weed they may struggle to reconcile what they would like to do and what feels achievable.
The understanding approach
This really depends on your relationship history, but assuming that he was a weed smoker when you got into the relationship you need to get to grips with why he is still doing it. Is it tied closely to his social life? Or a crutch to avoid dealing with personal issues from the past? There could be any number of reasons, and if you can get that insight it may really help you plan a relevant strategy that will encourage him to quit.
The ultimatum approach
The ‘quit or else’ [I leave/I will report you to XYZ/etc] method is tempting because it’s pretty fast and simple, but it’s also incredibly risky. You need to be 100% committed to follow it through if necessary, or to walk away forever. Threats become as good as useless if you don’t really mean them, weakening your position big time.
Lead by example
Perhaps you have a habit you could give up in a show of understanding and solidarity. If you don’t smoke or drink alcohol could you quit sugar, or spend less cash?
This is a very tricky issue to find a definite solution for, as at the end of the day adults have free will, and the right to choose the lifestyle they find most attractive. While it’s natural to worry about a weed smoking partner’s mental and physical health, future, finances and opportunities the decision to quit must always be based on their own motivation.
If you both once smoked weed and quitting has changed your perspective on their behavior then a more understanding and supportive approach is a better bet. On the other hand if you have never touched marijuana, or your boy/girlfriend started after your relationship was formed, then a more direct method could provide the impact you are looking for.
Lastly, remember that quitting weed rarely involves making a snap decision and never looking back, so line up support for you both, regardless.
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