One of the tragedies of living life with ADHD is we do not give ourselves enough credit for what we are doing. We forget about the good things we have done, those things that help us move forward in...
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One of the tragedies of living life with ADHD is we do not give ourselves enough credit for what we are doing. We forget about the good things we have done, those things that help us move forward in life. There is a negativity bias that we need to overcome. We tend to focus on the things that have not gone according to plan. Yet, we need to remember that, sometimes, reality is better than what we had planned and that we have been making strides. Yes, there is always room for improvement, but we tend to discount the progress we have already made. So, I say to you, dear reader: You’re doing better than you think.
Avoid Yeah-But Statements
When someone points out progress you have made, do not respond with a sentence that begins, “Yeah, but…” Accept the praise. It is not braggadocious to acknowledge reality. The best way humility has ever been described to me is “Humility is truth.” If we acknowledge truth, we are not being arrogant. We are, in fact, being humble. Now, it is not humble to say, “I’m the smartest person in the world.” However, if you are smart, it is not arrogant to say, “I am smart.” Humility is truth.
Track Your Wins
One piece I give to clients when they are struggling to acknowledge all the positive things they are doing is, “Track your wins.” I encourage them to write down or otherwise track every time they take positive action. It helps them overcome the negativity bias. It brings a sense of accomplishment to their lives. I find that (especially in the early stages of their coaching journey) clients with ADHD have trouble with hope. Their struggles seem insurmountable. What tracking wins does is show them they can and do make progress.
You’re Doing Better Than You Think
If you accept compliments, avoid yeah-but statements, and acknowledge your wins, you will come to realize you are doing better than you think. That realization is powerful. Instead of feeling down about your lack of progress, you will be empowered to continue moving forward. You will build momentum when you acknowledge reality. And, momentum is so powerful. Don’t let yourself be distracted by negativity. Acknowledge the reality that you are doing better than you think.