A trans activist snapped at a Delta Air Lines agent in New York, accusing him of repeatedly “misgendering.” But the agent pushed back, dismissing that claim and then threatening to have the activist thrown out of the airport. Who...
A trans activist snapped at a Delta Air Lines agent in New York, accusing him of repeatedly “misgendering.” But the agent pushed back, dismissing that claim and then threatening to have the activist thrown out of the airport. Who was reasonable here?
Delta Gate Agent Silences Trans Activist At New York LGA
Kyle sent me this story last night and while I knew others would cover it this morning, I wanted to take a moment to think it though before posting and make sure there were no details I was missing.
Transgender actress Tommy Dorfman identifies as a trans woman. Dorfman, who prefers the pronouns she/her, claims that a Delta gate agent misgendered her and that another agent named “Tristan” (pictured in the video below) displayed both “threatening” and “transphobic” behavior by misgendering her. In posting the video below on TikTok (since removed, but I’ve downloaded a copy), she explains:
When you try to advocate for yourself at @delta and are met with even more transphobia and threats of being arrested at Laguardia. Tristan, the employee, said that he was fine with me posting this, didn’t realize it was condescending to flag a human rights violation after another employee misgendered me incessantly.
Dorfman claimed the gate agent was being hostile, to which Tristan responded:
“It wasn’t intentional, but if you want to take it personal, that’s also okay. You’re being condescending, and if you want to continue, I’ll have Port Authority escort you out the building right this moment if you want to play that game with me. Which if you’d like to continue three days before Christmas, I really don’t mind.”
Police were called and showed up 10 minutes later to discuss the issue with Dorfman.
Let’s be clear. I’m not mocking Dorfman here for her self-identification. I’m not mocking trans people. But having the watched the video, I really don’t think Dorfman comes away looking the like the victim. Quite the contrary, I am much more sympathetic to Tristan, the Delta agent, even though his quintessentially New Yorker way of handling the situation probably could have been handled better (I find it so trite to threaten to throw people out over a verbal argument).
If you tell me you want me to call by certain pronouns, I’ll do it. If you look like a guy, I’m probably going to call you he/him until you tell me otherwise, especially I am looking down at my screen and hear a deep voice (as appears to have happened here). Here, there is no indication that Tristan deliberately “misgendered” Dorfman and it seems to me the issue was unnecessarily escalated in a rude way by Dorfman, who should have realized that the world doesn’t revolve around her, that her identity is a new a cultural phenomenon, and the she still looks like a biological male, which is quite a different thing than sexual orientation even if it meshed into the same rainbow. So maybe the key is education and not rebuke…
Delta is aware of the video and “looking into the matter, including reaching out to our customer to understand more about what occurred.”
CONCLUSION
I don’t think Dorfman is the victim here. I do think we should treat others the way we want to be treated, but I appreciate that the gate agent wasn’t about to accept that he was guilty of “transphobia” when there is no indiction he deliberately misgendered her.