Choosing to stop is a life skill you can learn. Here are some ways to introduce stopping into your life
Choosing to stop can prevent problems like back pain or stress from developing or getting worse. It’s a life skill that you can learn and is an important part of the Alexander Technique.
In an Alexander context stopping relates to habits, reactions and how we do things. By not stopping we make muscle tension, pain and stress reactions worse.
Choosing to stop - inhibiting or preventing our first reaction - helps us notice what’s going on. We're open to learning about ourselves and we have more options for what happens next.
Here are some ways to introduce the idea of stopping into your life:
1. Stop before you start
It’s tempting to get going on a task or activity as soon as you can. Or maybe you prefer to leave it to the last minute meaning that you do it in a rush. Allowing yourself to stop before you've even started saves time.
Just think how often you've begun to cook without reading the recipe through to the end. Or set off somewhere without checking the address or opening hours.
In some cultures people sit down for a moment before leaving on a journey. This has a practical purpose - what did I forget? But it also helps reduce stress and eases transitions and farewells.
I use lying down in semi-supine as my way of stopping. It brings me into a more organised state and calms my nervous system down. I’m more likely to attend to the task or conversation ahead in a mindful way. I’m less likely to cause myself injury or say or do something without thinking.
2. Keep calm - but don’t carry on
Take breaks and pay attention to what your body is saying. Yes, it’s good to have goals. But you don’t want the drive to achieve them to come at the cost of your own health or well-being.
Pay attention to twinges or a sense that something’s not right. Carrying on regardless is not sustainable. Sometimes stopping – even just taking a short break - can save you from yourself.
3. Problems can disappear on their own
For me stopping is an active and positive choice. Yet we often perceive it in a negative way as a form of failure or giving up.
It’s easy to believe that action is always what’s needed – and that we are the ones who must do it. But some situations resolve themselves without our help.
If you’re not sure what to do about something, stop. Give yourself (and the problem) time. You can always go back to it.
In the meantime you might see the matter in a new light. A more creative solution may present itself - or the problem might disappear on its own.
Give some of these things a try - and see how you get on. You don't know what will happen - until you stop.
Choosing to stop is a skill that you can learn through the Alexander Technique. To find out more I offer a FREE 30-minute Zoom consultation with no obligation to continue.
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