How to react when you’re urged to reach further, faster, harder …
Sophie climbs an olive tree
Grab a deal!
It may be my age, but I dislike the word ‘grab’, although my adult sons find it perfectly all right. It’s everywhere: ‘Points to grab on partner offers.’ ‘Grab a deal.’ ‘Grab the products you want.’ ‘Grab cheap seats.’ It makes me think of someone rushing forward, elbowing other people out of the way, avariciously reaching out. To me it seems rough and selfish.
Of course if you slip, you try to grab a hand-hold, or if you fall in the water, you hope to grab a lifebelt. But these are not everyday occurrences. In the photo my cat is climbing a tree; as she gets higher she sometimes grabs a better claw-hold when a branch proves too flimsy.
FOMO
There’s even a Singaporean super-app called grab.com that offers ride-hailing, food-delivery, and payment services. The point of the advertising copy is to provoke a reaction by inspiring Fear Of Missing Out. It encourages you to be always tense and jumpy. The very act of grabbing is a jerky, forward movement where you risk damaging yourself through trying too hard and pulling yourself off balance.
Here's an activity you can do to counter this desire to rush forward and grab. Put a variety of objects on the table in front of you, for example, a piece of paper, a delicate porcelain bowl, a football, a wet bar of soap (plus a dry cloth!), a heavy brick, some keys …
Yes you can try this at home
Place your fingers lightly on one of the objects, then close your eyes. Take some time to notice the texture, temperature, weight, and shape of the object. (Would this be a fun way of opening a present?) Keep your hand relaxed and responsive. How would you hold it? Would you hold a china tea cup in the same way as an earthenware mug? Would you use them for the same thing? How do you adjust the pressure of your hold? What happens if you squeeze a wet bar of soap too tightly? You’d probably pick up the paper with finger and thumb, but you’d pick up the brick completely differently.
Just enough pressure
In everyday life you constantly monitor your hold so you’re using just enough pressure. It’s easy to press too hard with a ballpoint (using more effort than necessary), but if you do that with an ink pen or a pencil you damage the tip or break the point. If you press the touch controls on an induction hob too firmly you don’t get a response. But if you suddenly had to start using a manual typewriter instead of an electronic keyboard you’d have to press with more force.
Take a moment
Next time you’re urged to ‘grab free delivery’, take a moment to consider if you really do need or want that thing. Is the action going to benefit you … or benefit the company that wants your business?
Active Rest trains you to be ready, alert, and waiting without tensing up the muscles. If you can maintain this state as you move through your day, then you should be able to react quickly and appropriately should the need arise.