"I don't have time": Adapting to your student’s learning style "I need results. Tell me what to do." When I began my career as a new Alexander Teacher, this question used to throw me for a loop. The Alexander...
"I need results. Tell me what to do."
When I began my career as a new Alexander Teacher, this question used to throw me for a loop. The Alexander Technique is about doing less. It's about learning to pause, taking a thorough inventory of what you are actually doing, and finding a way to accomplish the same things in a more efficient way. It takes time to learn (hours, weeks, months, years, depending on how deeply you learn). And it takes time to apply the skills you develop (half a minute, seconds, mere moments.)
The traditional approach to Alexander lessons, which typically includes taking time, slowing down and inviting the unknown, doesn't gel with everyone's internal rhythm at the start. It doesn't match their value system of getting results and accomplishing something useful and relevant in the way that seems worth the time and money.
The longer I teach, the more I can appreciate some people's preference to cut to the chase. After all, we live in a society and an economy that has indoctrinated us to go after results. More money, more productivity, more stuff. More, more, more.
So here I am, with a student who has back pain and tension, and he can tell he feels better after the lesson, but he's pushing to force a result. And he knows pushing is the problem, but he doesn't quite believe “not pushing” will can get him the results he wants.
At his second lesson, he tells me "I can see if I stop tensing around my hips and buttocks, things ease up…. But I need you to give me exercises. Tell me what to do."
I remain diplomatic and say "You show me the exercises you are doing and I will help you apply ideas from the Alexander Technique to those exercises."
At his fourth lesson, he repeats his request: "Give me exercises, give me something to do."
I say to myself “Thinking is doing something. Using less exertion to successfully accomplish what you are doing IS doing something. Paying attention and conserving effort IS doing something. It's doing things, just differently. But this doesn't satisfy his request: "Tell me what to DO." But I don’t say this aloud.
I ask him "Remind me how old you are?"
After he answers, I say "Considering you have been doing things your way for over 60 years, without thinking about them the way I am teaching you, and you've had less than 5 hours of Alexander lessons to learn how to do things differently, I think you are making incredible progress. Take a moment and let that sink in."
After a real pause, he says "That's good, I need that kind of reinforcement."
I know at our next lesson, he's going to ask me to tell him what to do. So this week, I am going to compile active verbs so he has something he can do:
Conserve muscle effort
Slow down
Breathe
Unclench
If you know you’d benefit from slowing down, but you find yourself rushing ahead, come and see me. I can help you slow down.
