Kristy is The Sleep Teacher and is certified in both infant and child sleep training. She is a mother to 3 amazing little girls and knows all too well how debilitating sleep deprivation can be. I asked Kristy if...
So if you follow me on the gram, you’d know that since Cooper was born he hasn’t been the greatest sleeper, because he’d have to sleep in general to be considered a sleeper let alone a great one (LOL). Look, over the last 18 months we’ve been so sleep deprived over here that although we’re used to it now, my jokes get worse so excuse the terrible moments of LOL that aren’t really that funny.
With some changes and lots of trial and error, Coop’s sleeping habits are really improving and i’m incredibly grateful for that and along the way, I’ve connected with not only you guys who are in the trenches with me (I appreciate you all so bloody much!), but I also connected with this wonderful human Kristy who’s also known as The Sleep Teacher. Her account has helped me so much along the way and she’s always sharing such amazing advice, so I’m stoked that she wanted to further help you guys with tricky toddlers and share some tips with us all!
If you’d like more information on what Kristy does, check out her website: www.thesleepteacher.com.au.
Ahhhh toddlers, those mini versions of us with a side of satin temperament at times.
They are still so squishy and baby like, but that personality it starting to shine through and keep us on our toes.
It’s that personality and determination that can start to cause disturbances with our toddlers sleep. Helllloooo bedtime battles.
Once our little ones move into that stage of toddlerhood, they are no longer that little baby, we start to notice this and so do they! With this, they really do want some independence (and I am sure that you’ve had your hand slapped away as you tried to help your sweet babe do something, only to be told “my do it”) and they also like to test the boundaries to see what they can and can’t get away with now that they are a “big boy or girl” (or so they think ?).
As a child and infant sleep consultant, I deal with baby and toddler sleep issues a lot, so if you are out there thinking your toddler is the only one still not sleeping through the night or having a colossal tantrum come bedtime, trust me,
you are absolutely not alone.
One thing I will always get asked is, “Am I doing something wrong?” and my answer is always the same. “You aren’t doing anything wrong, you have done what you have done because it worked for you and your family and that’s ok. Everyones normal looks different”.
If you feel you don’t need a full overhaul and it is probably just a few tweaks you need to make then there are a few things you can implement to help make improvements to your little legends sleep fairly seamlessly.
These include:
* Introducing a wind down routine.
If your bedtime feels like a game of survivor, trying to outwit, outlast and outplay your toddler before bedtime, then a wind down routine is going to be your best friend. A wind down routine is my number one must do when it comes to a good sleeper. Even if your child doesn’t sleep through the night, a wind down routine will make that stretch to bedtime and your child falling asleep 1000 times easier. It’s that calm down hill time to bedtime (yes, bedtime can look somewhat calm ?) that is predictable and helps your little one know what is happening and naturally wind down. It’s really hard to expect a baby, toddler or preschooler to go from a fairly stimulating lounge room with the TV or iPad going, to laying in bed and falling asleep. Enter, the wind down routine.
This sequence of events when done consistently will be your BFF. A wind down routine doesn’t have to be too complicated or lengthy, we like to keep it simple! Something as simple as having dinner, then a bath followed by some quiet play (blocks or puzzles etc) if you have time to kill, then you might do teeth brushing, some books and cuddle time, then say your good nights. This may seem pretty basic, but when done consistently, your child will pick up on this and it will help prompt them to know what is happening and reduce the fight come bedtime.
We have some great sight cards that you can download from our website for FREE here. Pop these on your fridge or your little ones room to help show them what the next step is. Babies and children really do thrive off routine, so while you might find this doesn’t work initially, the more and more your use it, the more and more familiar it will become.
* Making sure their nap routine is age appropriate.
Have a look at your little ones nap times and awake windows as these can play a huge role in how well or how not so well your babe sleeps at night. Generally for babies 18 months + we will see one nap a day, usually around 12-1pm. If your Bub is between 18-2.5 years then we recommend aiming for around 2 hours day sleep. From 2.5 years of age you may see this nap drop off slightly, or you may even need to start trimming this for them if bedtime is getting harder and harder to achieve.
* Check the sleep environment.
A good sleep environment is crucial when it comes to encouraging good sleep. Think about it as an adult, if you were trying to sleep in a brightly lit room with noises that kept disturbing and annoying you, you would struggle to wind down and fall asleep (maybe as a sleep deprived Mum you would find it easy enough to sleep anywhere, but you get the gist).
* Have a look at what your little one is needing to fall asleep.
The way our little one falls asleep has a big impact on their ability to stay asleep. For example, you imagine if you fell asleep on the lounge, but then someone carried you to bed (the dream right?!?!). Then overnight when you went through your light phase of sleep, you would have a partially wake as we all do, and realise you were no longer on the lounge, you would be a little startled and struggle to fall back asleep. This is the same with our little ones, if they have been really insistent on you laying with them to fall asleep and then you snuck out once asleep, they will more than likely look for you again overnight to fall back asleep and it becomes their sleep association. It is the same with a baby who relies on the breast or bottle to settle and they will use this to fall asleep and then look for it to resettle between sleep cycles.
These would be our top 4 things you can look at to help your little legend (and yourself) sleep that little bit better but if for one reason or another what you have previously been doing is no longer working, then we can definitely help you make some changes that are going to be more sustainable. We can do this via our 12-24 month or if you are after a more personalised approach a 1 hour phone consult will do the trick.
If you are finding the settling is getting harder and harder now your little one Is getting heavier and heavier or the night wakes are getting a little “old” now and what seemed to be working previously just isn’t sustainable anymore, then it might be time for change and we would love to help bring that change. But, as always, if what you are currently doing is working for you, then you do you girlfriend and don’t worry about what anyone else’s child is doing!
Kristy
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