The Power of Silence: Communicating with Heart

11 months ago 55

When you have a child who communicates differently than most, you learn to listen with more than your ears. You learn to communicate with a look, a touch, a gesture. Words became less important. You read your child’s needs...

When you have a child who communicates differently than most, you learn to listen with more than your ears.

You learn to communicate with a look, a touch, a gesture. Words became less important.

You read your child’s needs just by looking at their eyes. A simple look is all you need.

You know what a sounds means. One grunt or squeal can tell you everything you need to know.

A flap of a hand or a stomp means happy or stressed.

Some days you swear you can even feel the energy shift in the room if there is danger. As if you two are connected by a tether in some way.

And when you do speak, if you are anything like me, you have learned to communicate with less words.

I leave out all the useless fillers. I get to the point. No nonsense. Straight to the point.

Sad.
Mad.
Hungry.
Juice.
Cookie.
Hurt.

And so on.

So yesterday, as I sat with my own father, waiting to transport him for help…again, we mostly sat in silence.

We were both quiet. Only speaking when necessary.

We felt no pressure to fill the air with useless words.

When I inspected his upper body for bruises from the fall he took the day prior, I looked in his eyes and said ‘sad.’

‘Are you sad Dad?’

And he said ‘sad.’

He asked me if this was the end. I told him no.

Later he said…‘not bad’ about the room he would call home.

And then ‘love you.’

And right before he fell asleep he said, ‘drive careful sweetheart.’ It was barely a whisper. He was exhausted. Three words in a sentence. None of them unnecessary.

My dad has lectured me about safe driving my whole entire life. And he made sure he said it this time too.

I could have said a lot more. I can talk and talk. The gift of gab.

But my son has taught me to just listen. And speak when necessary.

‘I will dad.’
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.

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