Welcome to this interview series with fellow autistic adults. Some will be guest posts, and others will be interviews on the highs and lows of autistic travel and everything in between. Guest Bio: Middle-aged neuroqueer writer ever curious about...
Welcome to this interview series with fellow autistic adults. Some will be guest posts, and others will be interviews on the highs and lows of autistic travel and everything in between.
Guest Bio: Middle-aged neuroqueer writer ever curious about what life turns up. My mission in life is to never stop asking questions and messing with expectations. You can find my writing on Medium.
1. Tell us about your background.
I’ve been around for a few decades and am a recovering lawyer experiencing the joys of self-employment as a mediator and writer and a magnet for projects of all kinds. I’m a parent of a teenager and I’m based in Sydney, Australia.
I started writing for Medium about three years ago, and it was a revelation. The idea of publishing a professional-looking story within hours of having the idea and getting instant feedback was exciting and continues to excite me. I think it’s been really significant in developing my writing skills, and I love the community of neurodivergent writers on the platform.
2. When did you realize you were autistic? Expand in any direction you want.
Three years ago, at the age of 48. It was a gradual gathering of evidence rather than a sudden realization. I would veer between thinking it was a possibility after reading an Autistic person’s story that resonated with me and then second-guessing myself after being exposed to dominant narratives about Autism. Eventually, I decided there was a case to answer and booked an assessment. (Can you tell I trained as a lawyer?)
3. Do you have any special interests you want to share?
I have some special interests that are things I feel passionately about and give a lot of attention to, and that includes writing, presenting, and various other projects focused on raising awareness about neurodiversity, accessibility, and inclusion. Other interests are purely for fun and relaxation, such as growing succulents.
4. Has your sensory system fluctuated over the years? For example, has your hearing become more acute (and noise more unbearable)?
Oh gosh, yes? I’m in my early fifties and perimenopause, which studies have shown to magnify traits of autism and ADHD, including sensory sensitivities. I think I have always had sensitivities but have absorbed the impact by ignoring it and talking myself out of it rather than speaking up. And I think that as I’ve got older, my capacity to absorb it has decreased, and having a better understanding of my needs and more autonomy has meant I’m less likely to put up with things that are uncomfortable.
I don’t think my hearing is more acute, but my sensitivity to it is. I definitely have more difficulty following conversations in noisy settings with background noise. I’m also more sensitive at times of stress or when I’m experiencing sensory overload. It will usually be noise that tips me over the edge.
5. Did you move homes much as a child? Did your family take trips?
I lived in the same house for the first thirteen years of my life. Most of the trips my family took were up or down the coast during the summer holidays. It was the 1970s and 80s in Australia, and family holidays were pretty no-frills.
When I was about 11, in a rare flourish of adventure, my parents took me and my two brothers out of school for six weeks for a camping trip that involved towing a trailer full of equipment up the East Coast of Australia to the top of Queensland. I remember coconuts, crocodiles, and pineapples.
6. Do you like to travel? What kind of travel do you like?
I love solo travel, and I did quite a bit when I was younger, mostly in my 20s. I loved the freedom and autonomy it gave me. I think I perfected a kind of controlled spontaneity where each day, I could throw caution to the wind and see where it took me before returning to my modest accommodation at night. I love discovering the ordinary minutiae of everyday life in different cultures—where people do their grocery shopping and grab a casual meal or a beer.
I think having ADHD adds another dimension to travel as an Autistic person as the sensory and novelty-seeking part of me tends to take over—until I start craving the sameness and routine of home.
© Jae L, 2023.7. My special interest is packing. Do you like to pack or have any packing tips for other autistic travelers?
I travel light! I love the idea of just slinging a backpack over my shoulder and taking off. Anything I pack has to work hard to earn its place in the bag. There’s usually a lot of black, so I don’t have to worry about anything matching. I guess my tip would be only to pack things you are confident you are going to wear, not things that are ‘just in case’. They’ll only weigh you down.
8. If you like to travel, how do you deal with the uncertainty? Or anxiety?
Planning, planning, and more planning! I try to leave nothing to chance. I have a need to map out the process in my head so I know exactly what I need to do to get to my destination. I study airport layouts on websites, look at maps to familiarize myself with the area I’m staying and check train/bus timetables.
9. What does “travel anxiety” mean to you?
Such a great question! I tend to get most anxious about getting from A to B, particularly transfers to and from airports. Five years ago, I took my then 9-year-old daughter on a trip to the US (from Australia) and factoring her in took my anxiety next level. At one point, I had to drag her to the airport gate as I felt disapproving eyes on me. I was working really hard to hold it all together, and it was exhausting! I needed a holiday after!
My anxiety gets triggered when I don’t have enough information or if there’s a change, such as a delayed flight that’s not being properly communicated. I struggle with places like train stations and airports where the signage is insufficient or confusing.
10. Do you have any advice for other autistic travelers, especially those who are overwhelmed by the idea of it?
Start small and familiar—a weekend close to home. If going to another country, maybe focus on one or two destinations. Frequent transitions between different destinations can be quite exhausting, whereas settling into a place and immersing yourself in the environment can be really enjoyable.
11. What’s the best way for us to follow your work?
At the moment, it would be on Medium. I’m working on a book about neurodiversity and the workplace, so stay tuned for that.
Rose’s Takeaways: Knowing and Honoring Your Needs
So many excellent travel tips! Jae’s story reminds us how travel can help in understanding your needs and honoring them. (I agree that perimenopause sensory issues make you do this whether you want to or not!)
After practicing travel (and living!), you will develop those self-advocacy skills we need as neurodivergent people in a disabling world. Jae’s description of “controlled spontaneity” is so useful: create a safe container to return to every night, which means you can explore with freedom during the day. Since we often enjoy “the ordinary minutiae of everyday life in different cultures,” this releases you from that pressure to seek out often-exhausting tourist sights. Similarly, if you are also an ADHDer, novelty-seeking works to your advantage if you listen to your autistic need for routine as well. Jae also shares wise words about packing only what you’ll wear. As my own side note, I find the worry about the “just in case” items is solved if you spend the time really planning out what you need instead of thinking about it as a last-minute travel task. Autistic folx can be so good at anticipating what we’ll need that we can actually accurately plan out what we’ll probably wear. If you’re dealing with travel anxiety, planning helps! “I have a need to map out the process in my head so I know exactly what I need to do to get to my destination. I study airport layouts on websites, look at maps to familiarize myself with the area I’m staying and check train/bus timetables.” I had a lightbulb moment when Jae noted a reason our anxiety might get triggered before or during travel: the lack of information or confusing instructions. This also might explain why I love train travel as opposed to buses. Bus information is so confusing compared to traveling by train. If you’re just starting off, Jae’s advice is gold: “Start small and familiar—a weekend close to home. If going to another country, maybe focus on one or two destinations. Frequent transitions between different destinations can be quite exhausting, whereas settling into a place and immersing yourself in the environment can be really enjoyable.”You can learn more about Jae L on Medium.
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