Welcome to this interview series with fellow autistic adults. Some will be guest posts and others will be interviews on the highs and lows of autistic travel and everything in between. Lisa Guard is a married mother of two...

Welcome to this interview series with fellow autistic adults. Some will be guest posts and others will be interviews on the highs and lows of autistic travel and everything in between.

Lisa Guard is a married mother of two who lives in Wales and was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome and ADHD in her early thirties.

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1.  Tell us about your background.

I’m an only child, and growing up, I knew I was different from the rest of my peers early on. I was bullied for most of my school life, left school earlier than I should have, and did poorly in my final exams. I flitted in and out of jobs after leaving college ended up in some bad relationships, struggled with addiction, and became a single parent at 21.

I’ve never been able to hold down a job long-term apart from when I was able to work from home for seven years. Once COVID hit, my mental health took yet another nosedive. I had my third breakdown and finally got diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome because my father paid for the assessment. I’ve been unemployed for the last three years due to my mental health and continue to try and improve my quality of life after struggling with being undiagnosed for so long.

2.  When did you realize you were autistic? Expand in any direction you want.

I went to university as a mature student to study psychology and criminology. We did a brief module on autism. I can remember leaving university that day feeling like I’d found something out about myself that finally clicked. 

I spent months researching and came across one website written by an autistic female and began to cry because of how much it resonated with me.  

I’d finally found something that made complete sense for all those years of unanswered questions. It took another few months to pluck up the courage to ask my GP for an assessment, and I was told, “You can’t be autistic because you make eye contact and you have a family”.  I left deflated and ashamed but didn’t let it stop me, and I was lucky enough to be able to go private for my diagnosis.

3. Do you have any special interests you want to share?

How many would you like? There are so many. My special interests have always changed over the course of my lifetime—some last for days, weeks, or maybe months. The main ones that have stuck so to speak, would be that I love to reorganise rooms in my house. So, moving furniture and rearranging everything is something I must do on a regular basis. I can be lying in bed and see clearly how I want things and must do them as soon as possible.

I love to collect rocks when I go out walking with my dogs, and learning about spirituality and anything that can provide me with more of a connection to myself and the universe has been consuming me for the last few years. 

I could also say that trying to find some employment/income so I can work from home has been a huge special interest. Because since diagnosis, I have found even leaving the house to be problematic and, as such, haven’t been able to work.  

4.  Has your sensory system fluctuated over the years? For example, has your hearing become more acute (and noise more unbearable)?

Since learning that I’m neurodiverse, my sensory system (seems like it) is more sensitive. But I know it’s more a case of that I don’t have to tolerate those stresses anymore. Before I would feel in my body that things were too much, but I felt like it was just me and wouldn’t dare say anything to anyone but would come home, crash out, and need to sleep.

Managing my sensory system is more problematic during the summer and when experiencing high stress levels. Having time to decompress is essential when you have a busy family to care for, and I find myself shutting down more when I neglect self-care.

5.  Did you move homes much as a child? Did your family take trips?

We moved house when I was sixteen, I’ve moved five times in my adult life, and they say it’s the most stressful thing to do, and it is to an extent, but I love sorting, packing, unpacking, and organising everything, so I quite enjoy it.

As a child, we went on holidays most years. I loved going on the plane and exploring the beautiful countries we visited, but it was all organised for me, and I felt safe with my parents. 

As I got older, I enjoyed travelling less and less. Partly down to the toxic relationship with my mother and partly to the anxiety of being away from home becoming intolerable. My symptoms became worse as I got older.

6.  Do you like to travel? What kind of travel do you like?

I would absolutely love to travel, but the social anxiety and anxiety from being away from my home is too much to cope with, and as such, I haven’t been away for longer than two days in the last ten years. I won’t leave my pets for long either because I miss them too much as they benefit my mental health.  

7.  My special interest is packing. Do you like to pack or have any packing tips for other autistic travelers?

I hate packing to go away because I always forget something, but if I am going away, even if it’s for a night, I tend to pack a week before because making sure I have the right clothes causes a lot of anxiety. I pack as little as possible and always roll my clothes into sausages. I make sure I take headphones to block out noise, sunglasses to avoid eye contact if my anxiety is bad, and always take something to read so I can get lost in a book and block out as much of the stress as possible.

8. If you like to travel, how do you deal with the uncertainty? Or anxiety?

I must travel with someone, travelling on my own puts me into a state of panic and worry I’ll get lost and never make it home. 

So having someone with me, who is usually my husband, who can think rationally and calm me in stressful situations is the biggest help. If we do go away, I feel like I need another holiday to recuperate from the stress. So, it’s not really a holiday.

9.  What does “travel anxiety” mean to you?

Being away from home for too long, not being in control of everything, not being able always to have things go to plan. Being around too many people and having my sensory system repeatedly overloaded. Travelling with kids adds a whole new level of anxiety to the mix. So again, travelling depletes my system and is rarely enjoyable.

10.  Do you have any advice for other autistic travellers, especially those who are overwhelmed by the idea of it?

Plan, plan, plan. 

Prepare for as many eventualities as possible, including the possibility of delays and taking alternative routes. 

Ensure enough fuel for the journey and breakdown cover if you’re driving. Knowing I have breakdown cover eases the anxiety that I won’t be stuck on the side of the road for hours and can be brought home.

Travelling at certain times can help reduce stress, so I tend to leave as early as possible to beat traffic. If it’s summer, I make sure my air conditioning gas is full. There’s nothing worse than being stuck in a boiling hot car.

And I choose destinations I know will be quieter than most. Travelling is stressful enough, but knowing you’re going somewhere quiet makes it worth the while.

Having someone with you who knows and understands what you’re feeling and how you will react also helps. My husband knows not to panic when I walk off to find a quiet spot because I am overwhelmed.

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Rose’s Note: I learned so much from this interview, especially about our shared special interest in organizing, reorganizing, and packing. I can resonate with Lisa’s anxieties, and I also see how we share a need to make a place feel safe and like home. Her advice about planning to reduce anxiety is so helpful.

You can support Lisa by following and reading her work on Medium.

The post Autistic Traveler Interviews: A Special Interest in Arranging appeared first on The Autistic Traveler.

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