I’ve been taking things easy for the past few days, especially when it comes to beer. A touch of man flu is the cause, and it hasn’t been particularly pleasant. It's obviously woman flu as well because Mrs PBT's...

I’ve been taking things easy for the past few days, especially when it comes to beer. A touch of man flu is the cause, and it hasn’t been particularly pleasant. It's obviously woman flu as well because Mrs PBT's has also being affected, so does this make it gender neutral, or non-binary flu? Gender neutral flu, perhaps, or non-gender specific flu? or just plain flu, except it obviously isn't influenza, as both of us  received our flu vaccinations, back in the autumn. It's been lingering on though, as it's now approaching the two week mark from the time when I first became aware of its presence. 

I’m pretty certain I picked this particular bug up from work, where it’s been doing the rounds, having been brought home from school by one or perhaps two colleagues young enough to have kids of a certain age. In the end, this was the situation that persuaded my sister to abandon a career in the classroom, becasue she invariably came home with something nasty! Unfortunately, this particular incarnation of the common cold is very persistent and had been dragging on a long time. It’s the type of strain of upper respiratory tract infection, that lulls you into a false sense of security, because just when you think it’s on the way out, it rebounds back, with an increased ferocity.

Fortunately, neither of us have much going on at present, as it’s the classic "calm before the storm" moment – the storm being Christmas, if I’m allowed to say the "C" word with 12 days still to go before the so-called "Big Day."  Fingers crossed this unwelcome seasonal pestilence is on its way out, but apart from a visit to the podiatrist, plus dragging myself into work, I've largely been confined to quarters. This “break from the norm” has given me the chance to catch on some reading, put various papers etc in order, and re-start my hunt for a replacement vehicle, but on the downside, I've been seriously off my beer!

Tonight, I pinched a can of Mrs PBT’s Guinness Draught 0.0, and I have to say that this smooth, and full-bodied, alcohol-free, dry Irish stout, is very palatable. I was in trouble though for helping myself, even though I said I’d buy her another pack. "I don’t go helping myself to your beer," was her response, and she does have a point, but all joking aside, Guinness have got it right with this temperance version of their iconic beer, right down to the nitro-pour can.

Given my part-time hours at work, there are now only four working days before the factory shuts down for the long, festive-season break, or what American readers would call the “holidays.” I‘m not sure how long companies, or government organisations in the US shut down for over the Christmas period, although I do know there’s no tradition such as “Boxing Day.” My brother-in-law, on the other side of the Atlantic, is retired now, so him and my sister are now enjoying the extended leisure time that comes from no longer “working for the man.”

Looking ahead, I’ve got 12 days of leisure, before heading back to the office on 2nd January 2024, so how to use that time wisely? There’s the aforementioned car search, and having narrowed down my choice to make, model, fuel-type, engine size, age, and affordability – those things are all connected, the only painful thing will be enduring the over-inflated sales pitch, the attempts as selling me “gap insurance”, paintwork-protection coating, and all the other “add-ons” that bump up the price, and the salesperson’s commission. As a cash buyer, I should have plenty of bargaining power, although I don’t intend om passing lightly with my hard-earned cash.

As for the main event, there will just be the three of us, as those days of extended, and sometimes fraught days of extended family get-togethers are long gone. I’ve pre-ordered a fresh turkey crown, as I do every year, and Mrs PBT’s will no doubt cook it the day before. I’m trying to talk her out of buying a ham as well, as it’s too much, as far as I’m concerned, especially with a rather large bird to chomp our way through. As in most years, I’ve accumulated quite a stash of beer, mainly bottles, and including some old favourites, including London Porter and 1845 from Fullers, Proper Job from St Austell, and Pilsner Urquell from the city of Plzen itself. There are plenty of other “interesting” beers to work my way through, including Belgian Trappists Rochefort and Westmalle, St Bernardus – including the latter's  Christmas Ale, and whilst on that subject, a couple of bottles of Harvey’s wonderful Christmas Ale, plus a Bonfire Boy or two, from the same brewery. In short, I shan’t go thirsty, and what I lack in quantity, I shall make up in quality.

There was a time when a polypin of traditional cask ale was a must, in the Bailey household, but I did find that having to drink my way through 36 pints of the same beer, ended up as a chore in the end, and those last few pints were nowhere near as enjoyable as the first few. In other years I’ve gone for the 5-litre/9-pint mini-casks, and there’s still every possibility I shall treat myself to one filled with Larkin’s Porter.

The other great festive-season tradition is a ramble, not necessarily on Boxing Day, but instead a cross-country hike with a group of friends, traversing some picturesque countryside and then ending up at an unspoilt country pub. Unfortunately, the weather has put paid to such activities for the past few Christmases, and I’ve a feeling that this year’s meteorological conditions, aren’t going to be any better. That’s a real shame, as catching up with friends, post-Christmas, in a classic rural retreat, has always been for me, one of the highlights of the season. And speaking of rambles and cross-country hikes in general, previous years saw me completing the North Downs Way, long-distance footpath.

Last year’s aim of hiking the Tunbridge Wells Circular Walk, didn’t come off, despite it only being 26 miles in length. A delayed start, due to atrocious weather conditions, lead to a loss of momentum, even before the start. This, combined with a poorly signposted route, and a guidebook that assumed the reader knew exactly where he or she is going, curbed my dwindling enthusiasm, but leaving out the excuses, there is no reason for me not to complete the TWCW in 2004. 

Tomorrow, we’re expecting out new stairs carpet to finally be delivered and laid. We’ve waited in excess of six weeks for Carpetright to get the wheels in motion, and none of us can wait to have some nice new carpet fitted to our stairs, hall, and landing. The house has seemed very empty with just the bare floorboards and stair tread to look at, as we had the old carpet removed by the decorating team we engaged, whilst we were away on the cruise. It transpires that Carpetright somehow managed to mislay our order - if you’ll excuse the pun, but the bare stairs in particular creak and groan when walked on, but given the age of the property (1930’s), this is not exactly surprising,

Finally, and whilst on the subject of decorating, the Bailey family is pretty minimalist when it comes to Christmas decorations, so no decking the halls with boughs of holly for us. What we do have are a couple of “Starburst” light projectors, one for the front and the other for the rear of the house. These clever devices, project a series of multi-coloured laser lights onto any suitable, vertical surface. In our case, this is the front or rear walls of the house. The pattern varies thanks to a slow-spinning disk in the lamp housing, and if, like us, your house had white-painted walls, you can enjoy your very own changing light show, without having to climb up a ladder, or string ropes of coloured bulbs from one branch to the next.

"Simples", as the meerkats would say, and simple to erect and just as simple to take down. Life’s hard enough at times, so why not take the occasional short cut, and leave time for the more important and enjoyable things in life.

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