Is bipolar an excuse for bad behavior?

11 months ago 40

The post Is bipolar an excuse for bad behavior? appeared first on Life Conquering Blog. The question above, �is bipolar an excuse for bad behavior?� obviously is a very tricky subject to nail down and dissect.� I know what...

The post Is bipolar an excuse for bad behavior? appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.

The question above, �is bipolar an excuse for bad behavior?� obviously is a very tricky subject to nail down and dissect.� I know what you are thinking.� Am I qualified to speak with authority on this touchy topic?� Well�my diagnosis is bipolar 1 with psychotic features, ultra-rapid cycling and mixed episodes.� I also have AD/HD, generalized anxiety disorder and OCD.� For over three years now, I have been a freelance writer covering mental health.� Go ahead and judge for yourself at the end of this blog post whether I have the authority to speak on bad bipolar behavior.

Bipolar an excuse?

In my research, I was completely shocked at how far the door swung in one particular direction from so-called �fact based� organizations.

�Mental Illness is not an Excuse to be an Asshole� Psychology Today �Stop Equating Mental Illness and Bad Behavior� National Association for Mental Illness Rhode Island �Is Mental Illness an Excuse for Bad Behavior?� HealthyPlace �Mental Illness or Personality Traits?: The Roots of �Bad� Behavior in Your Partner� PsychCentral �When is Mental Illness Just an Excuse for Bad Behavior� Kings River Life

In my experience as a bipolar 1 as well as having friends with or without a known mental illness, each mental illness publication listed here is stigmatizing the mental illness community except HealthyPlace.

The bad

During my travels with bipolar, I have done a whole slew of things that caused pain, embarrassment, loss of integrity and much more.� The one manic symptom that I go to is risky behavior.� Right smack dab in the middle of the mania, I am on a high like none other.� I can seriously sit here and say when I embarked on those risky behaviors, I was not in my right mind.

bipolar an excuse

If you have ever felt depressed, you understand when I say �I was in a deep pit�.� �I could not get out of the pit.�� No manner of encouragement of the sincerest interest could get me out.�� If you suffer from depression, you have been there when you were unable to speak at work; unable to focus on the dinner party you planned; so full of anxiety that you cannot leave your desk at work even to go to the breakroom

I have had mean thoughts.� The voices in my head have told me mean and hurtful things.� Somethings I have acted on while others just slipped out my left ear.� I have also had inappropriate thoughts and acted on them.� The risky behaviors were alluring and I did not mind participating.

The good

I know what you must be thinking.� She is just delusional and dead wrong about bipolar behavior.� The activities I mentioned are all just bad behavior therefor I must be a bad person.

But what you do not know about me is that those behaviors did not describe me some 25 years ago.� If you were to speak to anybody in my past (meaning eight-teen and younger), the people that I saw in school who were just acquaintances I knew back then would be more than surprised.� Shocked.� Dumbfounded.� Disbelieving.� Astonished.� Stunned.� Stupefied.� These behaviors did not describe the person I was in middle school and high school.

I believe the only person who knew me back then (at least what I dared to share) was my best friend from elementary school, Beth Patterson.

You see, before the bipolar picked up steam and started to show itself in public, I was quiet and shy.� Kept to myself.� Didn�t speak much.� Almost awkward in my own skin.� Felt inadequate.� Then the bipolar exploded into my life in my twenties (the good with the bad).

behavior an excuse

From shy to loud. And I mean very loud.� When I laugh, people can hear me in the next county. From withdrawn to open. This was my catalyst in me meeting all the men I was eventually with. From not talkative to talking a bunch and VERY fast. One time I heard what I sounded like on my husband�s voicemail.� I was talking so fast that I was incomprehensible.� Sometimes I have no idea I am doing it. From awkward to self-assured. From inadequate to unstoppable.

grace

So, is bipolar an excuse for bad behavior?

I believe if the person is actively in a bipolar episode and they act out and it is not their regular behavior, then yes.� If the person is outside a bipolar episode and is not being affected by previous episodes, then I don�t think so.

The bottom line is, there has to be grace for the bipolar person in order to answer the question �Is bipolar an excuse?� in the affirmative.� None of us are perfect.� We all have our faults.� Bipolar is a mood disorder.� However, that makes it sound like child�s play, doesn�t it?� It�s not.� It is a cobra ready to strike.

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