I asked myself, “How can I turn this genre upside down? Do something completely and utterly different than anyone else?” The idea of coaching people on how to be more miserable seemed as opposite as it could be…with the...
I asked myself, “How can I turn this genre upside down? Do something completely and utterly different than anyone else?” The idea of coaching people on how to be more miserable seemed as opposite as it could be…with the stealthy goal of actually helping people be happier and live a life they love.
Ron Mileti – 10 December 2024
The Back Flap
MISERABLE YOU: A Handy Guide To Unhappiness You’re Already Following
IT’S THE ANTI-SELF-HELP BOOK!
Don’t like self-help and motivational books? Then this one is for you! With this comedy book, the humor will make you laugh so hard, milk and negative thoughts will shoot out your nose!
YOU’VE BEEN DABBLING IN MISERY LONG ENOUGH. IT’S TIME TO UP YOUR GAME!
Maybe you’re hap-hap-happy. Or maybe you feel “meh.” Or maybe you want to run naked screaming into the woods. Wherever you’re at in life, whatever you’re feeling, consider you’re not miserable enough!
Here’s your step-by-step guide to an utterly, wonderfully, beautifully miserable life!
SURE, THIS BOOK MIGHT HAVE THE OPPOSITE EFFECT ON YOU. IT MIGHT SMACK YOU AWAKE!
You might finally realize that this is your one and only life, and you better get to the smiling already.
But if you’re truly committed to suffering (from those inch-deep wrinkles on your forehead, seems like you are!), then buy the book and make yourself even more wretched!
Or, if you insist, instead use the book to discover what self-torture you’ve been unintentionally using on yourself, and learn how to stop doing that!
MISERABLE CHAPTERS INCLUDE:
Start Many Things, Finish Nothing Be In A Bad Mood Often Interpret Things In The Worst Way Possible Believe Life Has Meaning With A Capital M Appreciate Nothing Learn To Be Helpless Remember: You’re Da Man, So Go It Alone Ask Bad Questions Take, Don’t Give Focus On Trivial Shit Never Feel Like You Have Enough Don’t Question Who You Are Ignore Your Words Never Forgive. Never Forget. Deny Your Desires (You Don’t Deserve Them) Envision A Horrible Future Look The Other WayBy the end of Miserable You, you’ll see how you’ve been bonking yourself on the head with a proverbial sledgehammer and understand how to let go!
About the book
What is the book about?
Miserable You is a parody of a self-help book, teaching the reader how to be even more miserable (or, if they prefer, readers can use the book to realize how they’ve already been making themselves unhappy, and learn how to stop doing that!)
When did you start writing the book?
I was a writer and creative director with advertising agencies for years. And, for years, I said to myself, “I’m going to write a book someday!” Well, years passed, and I hadn’t written the book. So, at the start of 2022, as a New Year’s resolution, I said to myself, “This is it. It’s time. I’m writing the book this year!”
How long did it take you to write it?
I had the goal of completing a draft of the book by the end of 2022. I did it!
Where did you get the idea from?
I’ve been involved in self-help and transformational programs for most of his life. I read my first self-help book Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill when I was just 12 years old (if you knew my family, you’d understand why).
Later, I read more books and listened to audio programs from authors like Wayne Dyer, Norman Vincent Peale, and others, and participated in live events and seminars from Landmark Worldwide and more.
Later, I became a Results Coach. To do this, I first graduated from the Robbins-Madanes Training, the official coach training school of Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes. Then I completed hundreds of additional hours of training with master coaches and trainers.
All this education and training led to my work as a consultant to Bob Proctor, speaker, author, and most famously involved in the book and movie The Secret. This also led to my work with Kyle Cease, a comedian featured on Comedy Central who left entertainment to become a motivational speaker.
So I’ve been around this work for some time. But when it was time to come up with a concept for the book, I asked myself, “How can I turn this genre upside down? Do something completely and utterly different than anyone else?” The idea of coaching people on how to be more miserable seemed as opposite as it could be…with the stealthy goal of actually helping people be happier and live a life they love.
Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?
Balancing the self-help messages with the humor was challenging at times. I knew I needed equal parts of both, or the book would drift into either being merely a farce, or overly preachy. I think I found a good balance, helping people laugh their way to a happier mindset.
Also, maintaining the voice of the first-person narrator took some effort, and rewrites. It’s a character who is hell-bent on helping people be even more miserable, as some sort of twisted mission in life. I had to maintain that voice for the book to work. Slipping out of character and his voice would doom the book, allowing the reader to look behind the curtain too easily to see the real guy working the levers.
What came easily?
The sarcasm. It’s just who I am.
Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?
The voice of the first-person narrator of the book is a character. Hopefully it’s obvious that he’s not really me, Ron Mileti. I got inspiration from many places. As varied as Robin Williams to Tony Robbins to The Screwtape Letters to The Addams Family to gameshow hosts. It’s a breathless, frenetic voice with a dark sense of humor.
We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?
C.S. Lewis. Flannery O’Connor. Tony Robbins. Wayne Dyer. Louis Black. Kyle Cease.
Do you have a target reader?
Strangely, my target audiences are both people who love self-help books, and people who despise self-help books. I strongly believe both will love this book, for different reasons.
Also, anyone who loves comedy and humor…this is as close to standup as you can get in a printed book.
About Writing
Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?
I reserved time on my calendar to write and held those appointments with myself as sacred. Saturday and Sunday morning, early, before my family was awake. I’d write for a few hours each weekend day, week after week, rarely missing, for an entire year.
Each week, I’d draft a new chapter.
The next week, after being away from the text for several days, I’d reread it, refine it, then move on to the next chapter.
This process and rhythm worked well for me.
Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?
Hells yes! If I hadn’t started with a detailed outline, I doubt I’d ever have finished the book. Or if I had, it would have been a mess.
As a first step, I identified what broad subjects I wanted to cover, and gave them each their own chapter. Then I decided what tools or distinctions I wanted to cover that would support each subject. This became my roadmap for researching and writing each chapter, and thus the book.
Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?
I would draft a chapter, wait a week, reread it, and refine it. So, writing and editing was part of my weekly rhythm.
That said, after the entire draft of the book was complete, I also refined and edited the entire book, start to finish, several times.
Did you hire a professional editor?
I’m lucky to have several family members and friends who are professional communications folks. I asked them to read the draft and provide comments on the PDF. I asked them to note what they found insightful, what they found awkward, what they thought was hysterical, and what jokes fell flat for them. This informal focus group helped me learn how my writing was landing “over there” and allowed me to refine the text further.
Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?
Most often, I wrote in quiet. Sometimes I listened to instrumental music like jazz or blues. Listening to music with lyrics scrambles my brain.
About Publishing
Did you submit your work to Agents?
No, I was not interested in begging agents or publishers to like my work and grant me permission to be an author. I knew I was a creative and unique writer and took this project in my own hands. My inspiration was the comedian Louie C.K., who got tired of trying to get booked into theaters, so he rented theaters himself and sold tickets to his own shows.
What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher? Was it a particular event or a gradual process?
I knew from the start this was going to be my own vertically integrated project. I formed an LLC to publish my book myself. I wanted to control my own destiny.
Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?
Yes, my book is professionally designed…by my daughter Maya Mileti! We collaborated on the cover, using both my background as an advertising creative director, and her training as a graphic designer and art director. I love the end result. So fun, vibrant, and quirky. This visually tells you this ain’t your daddy’s self-help book!
Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?
Yes, I developed a marketing plan, mostly digital, that includes social media, online advertising, email marketing, a brand website, and more. Marketing is my background, so this was somewhat familiar territory, though there were some new tricks to learn with Amazon for instance.
Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?
Like any journey, it’s one step at a time. Have a clear vision of your desired end result. What do you really want? Don’t be afraid to identify it! The published book, the wild success, the people carrying you around on their shoulders! Then, with that vision in front of you, keep moving toward it. One step at a time. Don’t look back. Your ability to stand in no results, with no loss of enthusiasm, is what will determine if you get to your destination. Believe.
About You
Where did you grow up?
The suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio
Where do you live now?
Scottsdale, Arizona.
What would you like readers to know about you?
I want readers to know my mission in life is to help others live a life they love. This is manifested in the book Miserable You, but also in the Life Coaching and Business Training I do, formerly with Tony Robbins, now on my own.
What are you working on now?
Making the book a wild runaway success. Helping new clients via coaching.
End of Interview:
For more from Ron Mileti visit his website and follow him on Facebook and Instagram.
Get your copy of Miserable You from Amazon US or Amazon UK.
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