Fix What You Didn’t Break #natesmith #BACA

Happy Monday Blogging Peeps!

Hubster took me to see Nate Smith at Billy Bob’s for our 16th Wedding Anniversary Weekend. Nate Smith has a song called Fix What You Didn’t Break which reminds me so much of my husband. We eloped in March of 2010 and within a matter of months, I found out that my ex husband had sexually abused one of my children. It was horrible. Day to day life was like walking through quicksand. Heavy. Numb. Hard. It was a lot for a new marriage. I had nothing mentally or emotionally available to offer him during that season. The hurt my children were going through along with multiple visits per week to the child advocacy center for therapy, cooperating with the police to gather and collect evidence, working with the DA for the child to testify via video, the whole process was just overwhelming. Important. But exhausting.

Hubster was solid. Supportive. Encouraging. He took time off work to attend my ex’s arraignment hearing with me. He spent a small fortune to help cover the cost of my younger child’s therapy and medication and the middle child’s competitive cheerleading expenses (because child support stopped the minute my ex was arrested and my single mom budget could cover needs but not too many extras). Hubs made sure to fill in the gaps anywhere he could. If he had been able to fix it or heal it, he would have. Like the song says, you “weren’t the one that put the heartbreak on me. You picked up the pieces. It wasn’t the mess that you made… You came and put your wings around me. (Boy), you went out of your way to fix what you didn’t break”.

Every time I hear that song, it reminds me that beauty can come from ashes. It’s really difficult to see in the painful moments, but when I look back to 15-16 years ago, I can see it. Another thing that brought me peace during that time was BACA (Biker’s Against Child Abuse). I had known Rebel Dog & his wife Fawn in real life through work for about a decade prior to my child’s assault. I had joked with them several times that if anyone ever messed with one of my kids, they’d be hearing from me. And that day came in the Fall of 2010. BACA adopted my two younger children into their program with the full ceremony. The younger child had not been abused but his life had been turned upside down overnight so they took him in also. Their ceremony was incredible! They really showed up and showed out in all the best ways. Also, seeing them help SO MANY other children in similar situations helped me. It provided me with the little extra nudge that I needed to push through on tough days. To this day, when I see the BACA logo symbol, it makes fireworks go off in my heart. That’s why it was so AWESOME that the driver that picked us up Saturday night for the concert also happens to be a local BACA Biker. He had the flyers in his back seat for customers to take and we struck up a conversation about it with me sharing my rave reviews and personal experience.

Rebel Dog passed away in 2014. He was the Texas State Vice-President of Bikers Against Child Abuse, President of the Sherman Chapter and a friend who was deeply committed to helping and protecting abused children. RIP buddy (picture taken at my kids’ BACA adoption ceremony below). His wife Fawn was equally impactful. Maybe more so. She stayed in touch with my abused child for years following the incident. She probably still checks on her today. I would love to share Fawn’s photo but there’s not a photo of her without my kids in it. She stood by them like glue throughout our journey.

Cheers to 16 years of marriage, another live concert, and for meeting a local BACA rep. I just love that program so much.

Blended family life can have lots of broken pieces but God knows who to send to strengthen you when you don’t have the strength on your own. Hubster and BACA are really good examples of that in my life and I’m thankful for both of them. They were like a modern day Aaron & Hur who lifted my arms for me during a season of life when I could no longer lift them myself.

Have a great week y’all.