America seems to divided and polarized like never before (though it’s probably not). Everyone listens to their own “news” sources and gets their opinions reinforced by a like-minded circle of contacts. Diatribes are valued over dialog. How did we...
America seems to divided and polarized like never before (though it’s probably not). Everyone listens to their own “news” sources and gets their opinions reinforced by a like-minded circle of contacts. Diatribes are valued over dialog. How did we get here? And how do we get out?
Image credit: Antoni Shkraba on Pexels
Too many of us have forgotten (or worse, never learned) how to “disagree without being disagreeable” (there’s a book by that title for those interested in a more complete exploration). Too many teachers today, at all levels, seem more interested in teaching their young charges what to think instead of how to think, to turn them into enraged activists rather than engaged citizens.
The “experts” on TV talk over each other rather than engage in honest, productive debate. Politicians care more about fundraising than statesmanship. Major corporations take public stances on laws that it’s obvious no leader within the company has actually read.
Social media is certainly part of the problem. Absolutist statements (Climate Change Will Destroy Humanity! No, wait…Climate Change is a Hoax!) generate “likes”, comments, and clicks. Reasoned argument and compromise? Boring.
Okay, end of rant. One could go on and on with this, but the bottom line is: disagreement is normal and inevitable, even when dealing only with “like-minded” individuals.
Take religion for example: it’s not just that the world’s population is divided among five major religions (plus folk religions, the non-affiliated “spiritual” believers, atheists, and agnostics), but that there are more than 200 Christian denominations in the U.S. alone—and an estimated 45,000 globally. Which is to say: we can’t all agree even when we all agree.
So, if disagreement is inevitable, it’s important to know how to do it well—especially in the workplace. Here are four strategies to help handle disagreements that will (more often than not) result in the best decision for your organization and maintain healthy relationships with your coworkers.
Start With What You Agree On
Regardless of the issue, all (or at least most) people will agree on certain basic points. People will often agree on overall goals, but disagree about how to reach them.
For example, most of us agree that safe streets, a clean environment, and access to affordable housing are all good things. Our disagreements in the political arena center more on competing priorities and effective solutions.
In the context of work, everyone (one would hope!) will agree that high-level goals include increasing revenue; improving profitability; increasing (or at least maintaining) customer satisfaction; and building a positive brand image.
In the context of business tactics, the goals are often more granular, but there are still goals, facts, and constraints everyone can agree on. Starting with a focus on areas of agreement sets the stage for more positive, effective resolution of the points of disagreement.
To illustrate with an example: suppose you work for a small company that is developing a digital marketing analytics application. Presumably everyone would agree that you want to develop an appealing, reliable product with a compelling feature set, and that you’d like to ramp up sales as quickly as possible without spending excessively.
One key question, and potential point of disagreement, might be whether to start with a focus on agencies or small businesses. Even if you want to dominate both markets eventually, with a limited budget, it probably makes sense to focus on one of those first. You believe agencies should be the primary initial target. Others in the company want to pursue the SMB market first. Now what?
Ask Polite but Probing Questions
In order to disagree intelligently and productively, it’s essential to understand exactly what the points of disagreement are and why the other person holds the position they do.
You may discover that the precise nature of the disagreement wasn’t what you initially thought it was. You may uncover additional areas of agreement (or disagreement). You may discover that the other person is basing their arguments on logical fallacies (whether in business or politics—watch out for straw men) or inaccurate assumptions.
Returning to our analytics software example, your coworker who wants to go after the SMB market first might be guilty of generalizations (e.g., not distinguishing between the different needs of B2B SaaS and B2B services marketers) or causal fallacies.
Or they have mistaken (or at least dubious) assumptions about competitive alternatives or the ability of busy SMB marketing professionals to adopt new technology. Intelligent, thoughtful questions can bring these issues to the surface.
Some of what you discover may also cause you to revisit your own reasoning and assumptions, helping you to develop a stronger case for your position.
Never Make It Personal
Too often, whether in politics, personal relations, or work debates, we allow disagreements to get personal—to become about the other person rather than their opinion or position.
You are so clearly (in your mind) correct that there must be something wrong with the person who disagrees with you. They must be stupid, or willfully ignorant, or obstinate, or even…evil.
Not only are most of us none of those things, but it’s also vital to keep in mind how crucial relationships are in business. Not only will you have to work with that person next week, and next month, but you may need something from them down the road—an introduction, a recommendation, some other type of professional favor—that you can’t possibly foresee right now. It never pays to make enemies.
Focus on making the best argument possible for your case. If you believe in your mind and heart that you are right and they are wrong, by all means disagree. But keep it facts-and-logic based, polite and professional, never personal.
Decide How You Will Move Forward
In politics, some questions seem to never get resolved, or get endlessly kicked down the road (our ever-expanding federal debt, for one obvious example).
But with issues in business, eventually a decision will be reached. If you “win” the argument, be gracious about. Let those on the other side of the issue know that you appreciated their position and would really like to have their support going forward.
If the opposing idea prevails, think about what you want to do next. If the argument was as simple as picking the first target market for an analytics software package, get on board and do everything you can to make that approach successful.
But if the decision was about something more controversial, something of greater importance, you may decide you can’t support it. In that case, though it’s difficult, it’s time to look elsewhere for a new opportunity. You won’t be happy or productive working toward toward a goal you don’t support.
None of this is to suggest that your opponents will always be reasonable. There are toxic work environments. There are co-workers who may be racist, sexist, or just generally jerks. If that’s your reality, take the high road, but take the high road out the door.
There are arguments that aren’t even worth having. Disagreements are inevitable. Being miserable in your job isn’t.
Conclusion
Disagreements at work are normal, even beneficial. Making the case for alternative solutions helps work and leadership teams arrive at the (hopefully) the best decision.
Handled poorly, however, disagreements can ruin professional relationships and polarize teams. They can make it difficult to reach consensus and weaken implementation. It’s okay to defend your position with passion—but never with anger.
Our “leaders” in government, academia, and even major corporations too often model bad behavior. But learning how to disagree productively and build consensus is a valuable career and life skill. Hopefully the four strategies above provide a start (or reinforcement).
The post How to Disagree At Work (The Right Way) appeared first on B2B Marketing Blog | Webbiquity.
