Long before Beth Bartl started exploring Buddhism, she was walking the path. Fifteen years ago, Beth signed up to be a Big Sister and was matched with a local 6-year-old. The two of them went to parks, libraries, camped...
Long before Beth Bartl started exploring Buddhism, she was walking the path.
Fifteen years ago, Beth signed up to be a Big Sister and was matched with a local 6-year-old. The two of them went to parks, libraries, camped out and joined in family birthday parties, forming a strong bond. Over the years the girl’s family slipped into crisis until Social Services removed the children and asked Beth and her husband, Gary, a psychotherapist, if they would consider becoming foster parents. Deeply concerned about the future of these girls, Beth and Gary said yes and became instant parents to four sisters aged 3 to 14.
Beth’s day began at 6 am getting the youngest ready for Head Start and dropping the girls off at four different schools. In addition to the physical demands, there was the emotional work of providing stability to four children who had been traumatized and uprooted from their familiar world. After a year, the two younger children were placed with another family and Beth and Gary were left with a tween and a teenager.
Joining the Dharma Training Program was of huge benefit during those years.
“Learning to work with thoughts and emotions; learning to just breathe and notice…I could make a space where my thoughts were not the total reality and I could make space for their world,” she recalled. “The DTP format of teachings and inquiry feels so safe. I have always felt safe and heard by the sangha, so I can do the work.”
The teachings helped Beth find the strength she needed to advocate for her daughters in the justice system. The suspect in their case was going to be let out of jail while the police went through their procedures. “I found out about this,” said Beth, “And I wrote a nice long letter to the District Attorney on how this person needed to stay in jail and all the reasons why.” When she succeeded the police and county officials were like “You did it--You’re an angel.”
She accompanied her daughters to court and sat through their testimony. When it came time to read their victim’s statements, the girls were down with COVID, and Beth summoned all her strength and calmness to read these heartfelt pleas. “The DA was crying, everyone was crying, but I had no trouble staying calm because I was the warrior protector. I could do it! It really surprised me,” she said looking back.
The result was a conviction. Now that the situation is resolved, her daughters are thriving.
While Beth has joined the Bodhi program, she notices that “I practice more in my everyday life. Tara is my mainstay. I do the practice while walking the dog. It’s easier to visualize while looking at the sky with the offerings going up and blessings coming down. In those moments in life, there’s always Tara you can call on.”
There was more bodhisattva work for her last year when she spent five months back East with her parents and sister caring for their mother in her last months before dying in December.
Gary cared for the girls and the family traveled to visit several times. It was a challenging experience, and now when the memories and grief arise, Beth follows Lama Döndrup’s suggestion of practicing tonglen for her mother’s consciousness and finds it really helps.
“A big takeaway for me was remembering this precious human life, mine and other people’s,” she said. “We have this opportunity, and now is the time.”
Having all these practices to help navigate her busy life (she also holds down a demanding job as a project manager for a local firm) are unexpected gifts from her teachers and she is so grateful to them, especially for Lama Döndrup’s help.
“I was always a scientific girl,” she said. “I didn’t even know about spirituality, that you could have this space, this energy coming in. You could have this love and support being available if you are open to it.
“As they say, try it and decide if it works for you,” she laughed. “Well, I lucked out.”