We often think that if only circumstances were different, we could relax and find peace. Whether it’s our body, relationships,Continue reading

We often think that if only circumstances were different, we could relax and find peace. Whether it’s our body, relationships, work, or the world, we believe everything has to be just so before we can be happy. But here’s a reminder from the ancient Buddhist texts that helps us see through the lie we keep telling ourselves:

“A seeker of peace should drop the world’s bait.”

Wait. Bait? What bait?
Just as a fish would live a happier life if it didn’t fall for the lure of the fisherperson’s bait, so too can we be happier if we can see the shimmering bait for what it is, and swim on by. But how do we identify the bait in our lives?

Whether it’s tasty treats, affection, praise, variety, the next cool thing, the fear of missing out, the world offers up a bounty of lures, doesn’t it? Instead of using these lures to define us (I’m a restless person; I’m a needy person; I’ve got such a sweet tooth; I have an addictive personality, etc.), we can instead use the awareness of worldly baits to liberate ourselves.

We can discern between skillful ways of living, rooted in wise ethical teachings of the Buddha’s Eightfold Path, and unskillful ways, rooted in fear that promotes greed, aversion, and delusion. 

This is not the forced march of walking the straight and narrow! It’s learning discernment, not self-denial. It’s cultivating kindness and awareness so that we can see in our own experience that all is impermanent and interconnected. We can know from our own experience that thinking otherwise causes suffering to ourselves and those around us, extending out in radiant circles of contagious pain. And conversely how a growing understanding of the nature of all life radiates contagious joy! We choose in every moment what we are spreading. This does not require us to plaster on a happy face. Instead, we are learning to come home to this moment just as it is and be authentic. Instead of reacting out of fear, we can respond from that deeper understanding. 

From this refreshed perspective, we might see life as a dance of interconnections, causes, and conditions. Can we dance with all we encounter, greeting whatever arises with kindness and joy?

As with any dance, the music changes. The tempo, partners, and conditions change. Can we greet each moment of the dance without grabbing or longing for a past dance or fearing or longing for some future dance?

Right now, many of us are in a state of inner turmoil over wars that, though they may be thousands of miles away, play out on our screens and in potentially challenging conversations with friends and family. How do we respond skillfully to the horror of war? 

Buddhism asks us to recognize the Three Poisons that activate all suffering: Greed, aversion (aka ‘hatred’), and delusion. The first two are easy to see. We recognize greed and aversion in ourselves and the words and actions of others. 

But delusion may be more difficult to discern until we remember the Buddha’s Three Marks of Existence (Anicca, Anatta, and Dukkha): All life is impermanent. All life is interconnected. There is no separate self. And how not understanding these first two truths causes us to live in delusion, suffering unnecessarily.

(Buddhist teacher, Tara Brach, reminds us that “..humans are not the enemy; it is the universal forces of greed, hatred, and delusion that take over and lead to violence and suffering.” You can read her post about the war in the Middle East here.)

Whether global or personal, these universal forces or Three Poisons cause suffering, stirring up and fueling the Eight Worldly Winds: pleasure, pain, gain, loss, praise, censure, status, and disgrace. Learn more about these Eight Worldly Winds.

Let’s all see if we can let go of our burdensome and even poisonous self-improvement lists, and instead, dance with each moment as it comes. Sure, sometimes the music of our lives is a dirge, but if we stay with the dance of each new moment, we discover endless opportunities to share the vibrant interconnected awareness of being alive in this moment just as it is.

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