By Suzanne Blake (PCC), Senior Pear CoachConfidence is our greatest personal resource. If we possess confidence, we know we can tackle any situation that comes our way and go after the goals and resolution we seek to achieve. Without it,...
By Suzanne Blake (PCC), Senior Pear Coach
Confidence is our greatest personal resource. If we possess confidence, we know we can tackle any situation that comes our way and go after the goals and resolution we seek to achieve. Without it, we are stuck in stress and worry. Without confidence, any situation has the potential to be a threat or a problem and we forget that we can find a solution. It’s challenging to approach any resolution or task when you question your ability and stress constantly. If you fear you will not be able to handle a task or social situation, you may actually sabotage your ability to get it done. Instead of facing the task, you may retreat, avoid, or procrastinate. Maybe you confront the task, but without believing in yourself you may overdo the task, get stuck in over-analyzing, or painfully struggle through the process because you are unnecessarily doubting yourself.
Maybe you second-guess the reactions from others, like missed invitations, phone calls, emails, and conclude that no one likes you or wants to include you. These false conclusions prevent you from enjoying a rich and fulfilling social and professional life.
Confidence is essential to succeeding in life. It enables us to reach for our goals, try new things and take a stand for ourselves. It protects us from stress and equips us to face life’s challenges. Confidence comes from believing in yourself. It comes from recognizing that you are your greatest resource and remembering you have successfully navigated many of life’s transitions and will again!
Believing means you unconditionally accept that you are both capable and desirable. Acknowledging you are capable means you are good enough, competent, and able to handle life’s situations. Admitting you are capable also means knowing that if you cannot handle a situation completely on your own, you know or can find out where to get the necessary help, information, or skill. Acknowledging you are desirable means you understand you are an attractive, likable, decent person. It means you accept this regardless of anyone’s contrary opinion and you focus on all the goals you have achieved, not the few that are alluding you.
Moving Forward
In general, do you usually finish that report, complete the presentation, pull it together when you are entertaining, and otherwise dispel your own fears about performance? If so, then remember your past successes the next time you are worried about an upcoming transition or stressful experience.
Do you receive positive feedback from others about your talents and skills? If so, take a moment to write down at least 5 of these kudos you have received to help boost your self-esteem. Put them in a place where you can read them when you need a boost.
Do you evaluate the source of critical feedback before taking it to heart? If not, think about the people who have criticized you. Do they have your best interests in mind when they offer feedback? Do they hold high standards that are not realistic, and judge you by these? Do they criticize others and you when you don’t act as they would? If you answered “yes” to these questions perhaps it’s time to stop listening to the people who are judging you unfairly! Why give them the power to rob you of precious confidence? Remember that there are other people with positive views of you, so minimize your listening to the damaging feedback.
Do you listen to your own intuition or wiser inner counsel? Do others tell you that you give good advice? Are you generous with your praise and support of others? Next time you are doubting yourself, think about what you would say to a dear friend or relative you really cared about. We are usually our own toughest critics, so try some compassion and enthusiasm and turn your wise words inward.
This year, it’s time to start believing you are capable and desirable, so you face life’s stresses calm and confident! Repeat the positive phrase “I can do this!” or “I possess all the skills and talent I need to succeed” over and over for at least 10 minutes when self-doubt threatens to rob you of the motivation and activation you need.
For information on leadership coaching for yourself, your managers or team, email contact@pearcoaches.com or call/text 888–708-PEAR (7327).
About the Author
Senior Pear Coach, Suzanne Blake (PCC), designed and facilitates the exclusive programs and courses Pear offers. A leader in the coaching community, she brings over 20 years of experience in executive, career and productivity coaching, corporate soft skills, management training and human resource development.
Calm and Confident: The Keys to Success was originally published in Pear Coaches on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.