Hey upper elementary teachers! Is conflict between students constantly getting in the way of your teaching time and students’ learning? We’ve all been there and back again, but what if you could help students develop better skills for resolving those common conflicts that come up in the classroom and at the preadolescent age? I recommend teaching students about the 5 ways to resolve conflicts. Through this lesson, we learn about accomodating others, avoiding the issue, compromising, collaborating and problem solving, and competitive solutions to conflict. Considering the pros and cons of each, students develop a deep understanding of how these resolution styles impact the outcome of the issue and interpersonal relationships.
WHY TEACH CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN THE CLASSROOM?
The prefrontal cortex is found in the frontal lobe and is the part of the brain that is responsible for controlling impulses and allowing us to process the pros and cons of a situation. You may already know, but research shows that the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed until age 25.
Teaching students about conflict resolution styles provides them with the opportunity to analyze conflict in past situations when their brain is less engaged in fight or flight mode, they are less emotionally involved, and they are more capable of objective thinking. A focus on developing conflict resolution skills allows students to slow their reactions to conflicts down in the future and to have a variety of appropriate responses more readily available.
Teaching students conflict resolution skills and providing them time to practice the conflict resolution steps in a multitude of scenarios is an excellent way to support their social-emotional learning and growth. It’s important for upper elementary students to understand the value and power of handling conflicts constructively.
By making time to teach and practice conflict resolution skills, we help students develop into confident, empathetic, and well-adjusted individuals.
DEFINING CONFLICT RESOLUTION FOR STUDENTS
To define conflict resolution for my students, I first define conflict as “a serious disagreement; a state of disharmony or lack of peacefulness, and I define resolution as “the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict or problem.” So, conflict resolution is “the act of finding an answer or solution to a serious disagreement, conflict, or problem.”
🌟 During SEL-focused Morning Meetings, I display a bulletin board of the topic we are learning about. This bulletin board contains key vocabulary, related quotations, and anchor charts that we develop together throughout the unit.
SEL CONFLICT RESOLUTION ACTIVITIES AND RESOURCES ON TPT
TEACHING 5 WAYS TO HANDLE CONFLICT
After introducing the SEL topic of CONFLICT and defining conflict resolution for students, I like to dive into the 5 basic conflict resolution styles. These are the main ways that nearly every conflict has or can be solved:
Accommodating the other person or group
Avoiding the conflict altogether
Coming up with a Compromise
Collaborating and Problem Solving Together
Using Competition or Competitive Strategies to Decide
After introducing the 5 Conflict Resolution Styles, I offer a few situations and examples that may arise in a classroom. Students discuss where one might choose to apply that particular resolution style and generate possible positives and negatives (pros and cons) for each way of resolving a conflict.
The purpose of this conflict resolution activity is to help students understand that not all conflicts hold the same importance, that it’s important to listen to the opinions and feelings of others when involved in a conflict, and we don’t always need to (or even should) get our way. Different resolution styles may be more effective depending on the situation. In the future, students will be better equipped to step back and analyze a problem or conflict before immediately responding to it.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION STRATEGY #1: ACCOMMODATING OTHERS
In the context of conflict resolution, accommodating others means prioritizing their needs and preferences over your own. This approach is driven by a genuine desire to maintain harmony and foster positive relationships. Accommodating is most effective when the issue at hand isn’t critical to the person being flexible but is significant or important to others.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION EXAMPLES FOR STUDENTS
After discussing the conflict resolution situation examples such as this one with students, I engage them in generating a pros and cons list of responding to the conflict by accommodating others.
PROS:
promotes a friendly, cooperative environment
makes peers and others feel valued and loved
shows others respect and consideration
shows flexibility and that you are not one who always needs to get their own way
CONS:
The accommodating student may feel like their voice doesn’t matter if they are always the one giving in
The accommodating student may feel less engaged and involved in group projects or dynamics
potential of being taken advantage of
The accommodating student may not be developing their leadership, courage, or confidence skills
The person being accommodated may not learn how to accommodate others if they are always getting their way or surrounded by less determined individuals
CONFLICT RESOLUTION STRATEGY #2: AVOIDING THE DISAGREEMENT
Avoiding conflict might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes it’s the best approach. This style involves stepping back, staying neutral, or even withdrawing from the situation altogether. Avoiding can be particularly useful when the conflict is minor, or emotions are running high, and a temporary escape can help everyone gain perspective and return to the discussion with a clearer mind.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION EXAMPLES FOR STUDENTS
PROS:
prevents escalation
buys time
temporarily reduces stress
temporarily protects relationships
CONS:
issues remain unresolved
build-up of tension
missed opportunities for growth
potential for negative impact on self-esteem
CONFLICT RESOLUTION STRATEGY #3: COMPROMISE
Compromising is about finding a middle ground where each party involved in the conflict makes concessions. Think of it as a shared sacrifice to achieve a mutually acceptable solution. Compromise is especially handy when a quick resolution is needed, or the stakes are balanced on both sides.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION EXAMPLES FOR STUDENTS
PROS:
mutual satisfaction
quick resolution
balances interests
preserves relationships
reduces hostility
CONS:
partial satisfaction
possible resentment
encourages minimal effort
potential for superficial solutions that do not address the underlying issue
CONFLICT RESOLUTION STRATEGY #4: COLLABORATION & PROBLEM SOLVING
Collaboration, or problem-solving, is a highly effective conflict resolution style that emphasizes working together to find a win-win solution. This approach values open communication and creativity, encouraging all students to share their perspectives and brainstorm solutions that address everyone’s needs. Collaboration is particularly beneficial for resolving complex conflicts where the outcome is significant for everyone involved.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION EXAMPLES FOR STUDENTS
PROS:
high-quality solutions
mutual satisfaction
strengthened relationships
shared ownership
enhanced communication
CONS:
time-consuming
complex process
requires high level of commitment
potential for frustration
CONFLICT RESOLUTION STRATEGY #5: COMPETING
Competing is a more assertive conflict resolution style where one person aims to achieve their goals, sometimes at the expense of others. This approach might involve using authority, influence, or persuasive arguments to win the disagreement.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION EXAMPLES FOR STUDENTS
PROS:
quick decisions
clear outcomes
encourages assertiveness
can effectively protect one’s interests
encourages preparation
CONS:
can create hostility and resentment between parties
losing party may feel undervalued
potential for escalation
neglects collaboration
short-term solution
By giving students the knowledge and power to understand and apply these conflict resolution styles in a variety of situations and settings, they can navigate disagreements more effectively, whether in the classroom or in broader social interactions. Each conflict resolution style has its place, and knowing when and how to use it can make a significant difference in fostering a positive and inclusive classroom environment.
SOURCES:
https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/strategies-for-conflict-resolution-in-the-workplace
https://knovator.com/blog/conflict-management-styles/
NEED DONE-FOR-YOU ACTIVITIES FOR TEACHING CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS AND COMPROMISE?
In my Conflict Resolution and Compromise SEL-themed morning meeting unit, you will find all of the resources you need to teach your students about conflict resolution and compromise, including suggested conflict resolution books to read aloud, engaging conflict resolution activities and lesson ideas, discussion questions, conflict resolution and compromise quotes (in journal and poster form), and a personal self-assessment. Student journal pages highlight activities like steps for resolving conflict, examples of behaviors that indicate conflict and ideas to try, conflict resolution examples for students, and brainstorming challenges of resolving conflict and identifying strategies for each.
You can manage to do each of these activities with a reflection journal and materials you have around the classroom, but if you want some of the work done for you, including Google Slides, you can check out my Conflict Resolution and Compromise SEL theme unit. I use this unit for a 2-3 week morning meeting unit. It includes student journal pages, detailed and editable lesson plans, bulletin board materials with key vocabulary and conflict resolution quotes, Google Slides for the teacher, and a digital student notebook. This Conflict Resolution and Compromise theme unit is also included in the SEL Morning Meeting MEGA Bundle which contains 17 social-emotional learning themes. If you’re looking to increase your social-emotional learning focus, you’ve come to the right place!
SEL THEMES TO GUIDE YOUR MORNING MEETINGS ALL YEAR
If you’d like more social-emotional learning theme units with a focus on encouraging students’ social, emotional, and academic success, you may be interested in the SEL Morning Meeting Mega Bundle of 17 theme units. With SEL units focused on kindness, compassion, growth mindset, gratitude, perseverance, responsibility, managing emotions, and so much more, your engaging morning meeting plans are done for you and your students will love them! You can save 10% on the Mega Bundle of all 17 themes with the code MM10.
See SEL Conflict Resolution and Compromise Morning Meeting Activities on TPT
See SEL Morning Meeting Activities Set 1 on TPT
See SEL Morning Meeting Activities Mega Bundle on TPT
