My heart is breaking. As I sit in the depths of the night and watch my dear daughter suffer, my whole being is wracked with a mixture of fear, sadness, and uncertainty. As the hours trickle by and we still have no definitive answer as to the cause of my daughter’s intense pain, I cry and I pray. All I can do is lay my hurts and those of my daughter at the foot of the only One who can get us through this. In the wee hours of the morning the answer comes – a life-threatening condition, but with solid treatment options. We are grateful for a plan but still are immensely stressed and concerned over what will happen in the days ahead. Interestingly enough, this is my second run into the emergency room in recent weeks. Again, I sat with a daughter, wondering about the source of intense pain and waiting for a diagnosis. Thankfully, in her case, they ruled out life threatening possibilities but that road is not resolved there either. What do we do when life goes sideways? My daughter sits in pain, worried about what it is to come and how her children are coping with it all. My other daughter waits for specialist appointments and answers. I’d like to say that I have all the answers but I surely do not. While my head knows that God is a God of purpose and provision, I really don’t know where all this is going. Our stress levels are so high. Which direction do we go now? As I contemplate what to say to my girls as they deal with so much suffering and uncertainty, a Steven Curtis Chapman song plays on the radio. The words ring true for our experiences right now: “God’s gonna turn it into something different He’s gonna turn it into something good He’s gonna take all the broken pieces And make something beautiful like only He could So put it all in the hands of the Father Give it up, give it all over to The only One who can turn it into Something beautiful” (from Something Beautiful, Steven Curtis Chapman) Part of me wants to scoff – what is beautiful about what we are going through? What beauty comes out of all the pain that my daughter is currently suffering or the challenges my other daughter is facing? But that is not for me to decide. The lyrics in the song ring through my head – “Give it up, give it all over to the only One who can turn it into something beautiful.” It is something both my daughters and I need to embrace. We need to give up our control and let God work through our current life circumstances. He has a path for us – one that is good. As we sit through this challenging time of life, we are not alone. God is there, waiting for us to recognize His presence and His great power and wisdom. Do we know His plan right now? Not at this moment. The three of us trust Him though to do what is best for us at this particular moment in time. While emotions are high and thoughts go askew with stress, we hold tight to our Saviour who loves us beyond measure and keeps us in His ever-loving hands. It has been some hard weeks for our family. To survive the grief and stress we need to believe the words in the above song – God will make something beautiful from all this – in His time and in His own way.
