Texas Aggies annihilate LSU in Tiger Stadium, and Coach Brian Kelly Beomes the Naked Prey

Condemned to DEBT · 11 months ago · 77 views

In a Death Valley spectacle, Texas A & M annihilated LSU's beleaguered football team last night by scoring 49 to 25 in Tiger Stadium. The Tigers led the Aggies at halftime, a minor miracle, but early in the third quarter, LSU's team folded like a cheap suit.LSU fans turned on Coach Brian Kelly as their team collapsed before the Aggies' relentless, almost robotic onslaught. Thousands joined a chant to fire Kelly, and disgusted LSU students streamed out of the stadium by the thousands early in the fourth quarter. What a debacle! Even the supposedly objective television commentators began speculating about Coach Kelly being cashiered in mid-season.   Watching the tragic drama on television from my home in southern Mississippi, I was reminded of the movie Naked Prey, in which an African explorer played by Cornel Wilde is doggedly pursued through the jungle by spear-chucking native tribesmen. No mercy!Coach Kelly displayed remarkable composure during the post-game press conference, humbly taking full responsibility for his team's humiliating loss. He knows he will be fired.Here's the problem. Coach Kelly makes $10 million a year as LSU's football coach, and the LSU Athletic Department will have to pay him more than $50 million to buy him out! And that's not all. Some of Kelly's coaching staff may also be let go, requiring more buyouts. And LSU will need to hire Kelly's replacement. What will that cost? Conceivably, the university will need to match Kelly's $10 million salary to entice a new coach to move to Baton Rouge.My sympathies are entirely with Coach Kelly. What was LSU athletic director Scott Woodward thinking when he agreed to pay Kelly $100 million to coach the Tigers for ten years? Based on past experiences (coaches Les Miles, Ed Orgeron, Coach Gerry DiNardo, etc), he surely knew the day would come when LSU's fans and donors would turn on Kelly like howling spectators in the ancient Roman coliseum, and LSU would be forced to buy out his contract. Now you know why a beer costs almost a tenner at LSU home games and tickets sell for over a hundred bucks. But you can watch future LSU games with me at my home on Lake Mary Road, where the popcorn is free and there are three La-Z-Boy recliners. Just bring along your favorite beer and a six-pack of Shiner for me.Go Tigers!LSU fans have turned on Coach Kelly.