Pet Slaves

Special Ancient Egyptian Edition

I’ve had the most fantastic few days, completely lost in a website called, Trusted Pet Sitters.  This website is literally the answer to my every need in my (future) life, when my own pets (aka da kids) leave me yay very sad, alone and empty nested.  At that point, I’m going to jump online and become a “Trusted Pet Sitter” and have lots of temporary pets without being tied down by any of them.  Here’s the gig; it’s basically like Airbnb, but people leave their pets behind, so you take care of them.  How amazing is that?  You also get to stay in their houses for nothing; because the website rules don’t allow owners to post messages saying, “I’ve tied my dog up outside Tesco in Oxford.  Can someone pick him up please and have him for a couple of weeks, till I get back from Majorca?”  That would be irresponsible and let’s face it, the universal lore of pet ownership is; once you have a pet you volunteer to be its slave, not its keeper, for the rest of its life.

Pet Slavery, aka “Stockholm Syndrome” (caring for one’s kidnapper) was actually termed around 500BC.  It all began when the intrepid Swedish, explorer Bjorn Anni-Fried discovered “Old Egypt” – as it was known because it wasn’t that ancient, just a bit tired looking.  Intrepid Bjorn had initially discovered Norway, Finland and Denmark, then raised some more money to find Poland, Germany and The Netherlands.  Humble about his incredible exploration, Bjorn would simply say, he wanted to see it before it got too commercialised.  He was planning to make a quick stop to discover Belgium, then look for France, when he was accidentally blown off-course by a terrible storm.  He sailed away, for a year and a day, ending up in a place he called, Old Egypt.  In time it would be known as Ancient Egypt, but back then it was just a bit tired looking.

Disappointingly, he didn’t stay long because he though it “unnaturally hot”, and described in his diaries that the “Gates Of Hell opened”, after drinking the local water.  When it was time to say goodbye, Bjorn was special guest at an elaborate farewell ceremony, where he was presented with a beautiful boat and an Abyssinian pet cat – who he called, “Agnetha”. (After a singer back in Stockholm – who he would eventually marry).  As he sailed away, thousands of people turned out along the shoreline, waving and crying. Or so Bjorn thought.  What actually transpired, was the Egyptians had a beautiful ceremony where the Goddess of War, Sekhmet (who took the form of an Abyssinian cat) was presented with a magical slave who had arrived with strange white skin, that quickly changed to red – the colour of war.  Truthfully, he was a side ting and the main offering was the brand new warship, carved especially for her.  The whole City turned out to say goodbye, crying at her regal pose on the bowsprit of the ship, her ugly red slave at the helm under her command.  Many wept at her bravery,  knowing the battles she would wage to expand Egypt’s power.  A few of them were also there to make sure the annoying slave, who complainedconstantly, had actually left.

Bjorn’s first stop was discovering “Malta”.  Sekhmet jumped from the ship, eager to wage war against local rats, who knew the back streets, but hadn’t counted on her agility and speed in battle. (She’d been training for this).  Devastated, Bjorn spent all day wandering around Malta, calling her name (which she didn’t recognise).  Eventually, he ended up discovering a local tavern.  Inside the people were huddled together, watching a regal Abyssinian cat drink milk from a plate on the floor.  Sekmet was pleased to see her slave, allowing him to devotedly carry her back to her warship, after a long day fighting.  After this, Bjorn sailed straight home, glancing at Gibraltar, but not daring to set foot on land in case Agnetha ran away again.  This would be Bjorn’s final journey, (which is what the Egyptians hoped) because he couldn’t leave the cat.  Goddess Skemet discovered Sweden, which she ruled wisely and the slave served her devotedly, throughout her life. She held court from her throne by the fireplace, never fearing to going into battle, when the regional chiefs got out of hand. Sometimes, she just sat on the High Fence to survey the vastness of her lands and remember Egypt.

This month we have made it into the Feedspot Top 100 Blogs list.  “Yay

Then, I upgraded my site & lost 951 readers.  “Noooo”

If you could share this blog with friends, I’d be grateful.  “Cheers”

Dedicated to 

“Bugsy “

Slayer of dogs

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The post Pet Slaves first appeared on Thank you for the days.